


Wouldn't It Be Nice?

by Wayward_Daughter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel/50 First Dates AU, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-27 12:25:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Wayward_Daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester wasn't looking to settle down. Not until he met one Castiel Novak did he ever consider changing his mind. The only problem is he won't remember him tomorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So how’re things going with that girl from Ohio?”

“Oh, her? I dropped her off at the airport this morning.”

“Seriously?” Sam rolled his eyes at his older brother. This had to have been, what, the fourth girl just this week? 

Dean Winchester was one of those “afraid of commitment” type guys, Sam understood that, but “I would actually like to see you settle down before we’re both in creaky rocking chairs.” he thought aloud.

Dean clapped his hand on Sam’s shoulder “That’s the life for you, little brother, not me.” He smiled, gathering his jacket and car keys “Besides, what happens when I’m ready to go on my trip? I can’t have anything tying me down.” With one more ruffle of his brother’s hair, Dean smirked and trudged out the door “See ya later, Sammy!”

Sticking around in his hometown of Lawrence, Kansas had it’s perks; friendly people, relatively easy business, but more than anything: food. Dean’s favorite being the Novak Cafe. It was a nice morning to sit down and have breakfast for once instead of racing from fixing up other people’s cars to fixing his own. However, this was not one of those times.

His precious Chevy Impala was newly repaired after a head-on collision with a 14-wheeler. Not a day after she was fixed up and pretty again did pieces of a shattered beer bottle slice into the two left tires.

“Are you kidding me?!” Dean shouted to the heavens, swearing at the top of his lungs, having to trudge to the nearest establishment covered in sweat.

Dean took a seat on one of the cushioned counter stools and scanned the menu before a blinding glare hit his eye. The glare was from the sun, reflecting of a butter knife being twirled on a table with slender fingers.

He looked about Dean’s age, lean, dark brown hair that would look almost black if it weren’t for the morning sun giving a chocolate hue to the mussed strands. His free left hand occupied the open novel on the table, his palm careful and tender on the pages. 

A beautiful red-haired girl in a cafe apron brought a plate of square waffles to his table with a bright smile, obviously knowing him.

“Morning, Anna.” he beamed “You cut your hair; it looks great!”

“Good morning” she grinned, pinching his cheek teasingly. 

Dean didn’t hear the rest of their conversation, but it wasn’t long until the girl made her way to his side of the cafe “What can I get for you?”

“Uh, I’ll just have a cup of coffee. I already had breakfast this morning. I just have a little bit of time to kill before my brother comes to tow my car.”

Anna crossed her arms and looked down on him with a safe expression “What did you have?” 

Dean looked up, actually having to think for a second “I had a Reese’s peanut-butter cup and a bottle of Gatorade.”

Anna playfully pursed her lips “That’s not breakfast; I’ll get you spam and eggs.”

She scribbled something on her notepad and called into the kitchen “Balt, I need spam and eggs!”

When Dean looked back, he noticed the man leaning triangular cut waffle pieces against each other. A thin tall man with short blonde hair and an apron came out of the swinging kitchen door “Hey, you like those peanut butter cups?” he asked in his light British accent.

“Yeah sure.” Dean smirked

“You want me to put peanut butter cups in your eggs?”

“Uh…no thank-you?”

He shook his head, laughing and strolling back into the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron “Peanut butter cups”

Dean kept his head down the entire time he shoveled the scrambled eggs into his mouth. Sam pulled up with Baby hooked up to his truck about twenty minutes later, being as careful with his brother’s most prized possession as humanly possible. Dean rubbed at his forehead frustratedly as he spilled about his morning like an angsty teenage girl “I guess I was a little off my game, so I didn’t say anything to him, but man was he cute, though.”

The last part was almost muttered, but loud enough for Sam to hear and quirk an eyebrow at his older brother.

Dean sunk a little into his seat “Did I just say that? That was weird.” he laughed nervously. “Anyway I sort of have a no-local policy.”

Sam smiled with a furrowed brow. He knew Dean expressed interest in both women _and_ men since high school, but he would've though he'd be over the 24-hour relationship thing by now “And you have this policy because?”

“Because what if things don’t work out? Or what if I want to go on my trip and they don’t? It’s a little messy and I’d rather just drop someone off at an airport or something than have to—”

“Yeah I get that part, I’m just saying if you’re interested in someone enough to worry if you’re ready to talk to them or not, then maybe it doesn’t matter if they’re from around here.”

Dean leaned his head into his hand and groaned, maybe working on his Impala would keep his mind off of the man until the next morning.

And it did. It didn't take too long to change the tires, but that took about four hundred dollars out of his trip stash, which was the real issue.

However the stress seemed to fade away when he stepped into the cafe doors.

“Hey V-neck!” Dean called into the kitchen.

Balthazar poked his head out the window and smiled “Hey peanut butter cups!”

Anna met him halfway to his barstool from taking an elderly man’s order “Hey sweetie, what can I get for you this morning?”

Dean took a peek over her shoulder and saw the familiar mop of disheveled hair huddled over a stack of square waffle pieces made into what looked like a little house. “I’ll uh have whatever he’s having.” he answered, not taking his eyes off that beautiful stranger until he noticed the waitress’ pause “It looks great.”

Anna tucked her pen behind her ear and smiled kindly, and headed swiftly into the kitchen “Alright, homestyle waffles it is.”

When Dean looked back, he noticed Mr. Stranger having difficulty with a small piece of waffle falling through the window. Dean pulled a toothpick from a jar on the counter and took confident steps toward the table.

“Why don’t you try this?” he smiled with a soft charm as he slid the toothpick into the top waffle and holding the piece in place “See? It’s like a little hinge.” Dean moved the piece back and forth and mimicked a creaking door.

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” the surprisingly gruff voice good-naturedly grumbled

“No worries.”

He reached out before Dean could turn around completely and walk away “I’m Castiel.”

Dean shook his hand gingerly, taking in just how blue Castiel’s eyes were “I’m Dean Winchester.”

“I uh…I see that you’re sitting there alone. Do you want to sit down?”

“Yeah. Sure, thank you.” Dean smiled, sliding into the booth.

“So are you an architect?” Castiel smiled brightly, gesturing to the completed waffle house.

“I’m not;” Dean admitted “I’m a mechanic.”

“So that’s where the smell is coming from.”

Dean ducked his head, slightly embarrassed “Yeah, I’m sorry. I was finishing up an oil change this morning. I thought I got it off, but I guess not.”

“I love that smell.”

“No you don’t.” Dean smiled, sure Castiel was trying to give some kind of false compliment “My brother doesn’t even like that smell.” 

“No I do! My father was a fisherman when we used to live in Illinois; it was great territory since Lake Michigan's the size of a sea. Anyway, he left his boat with us when he left so my eldest brother would take it every weekend to go fishing himself at Clinton Lake. The motor every time he returned home smelled just like you.”

Dean was surprised with a small smile plastered on his face “Well…thanks then. So, you have an older brother?”

“Three, actually. You’ve already met one of them,” he pointed into the kitchen at Balthazar who was cutting open a can of spam with a meat cleaver “and my older sister.” Castiel gestured toward Anna. “What about you? You said you had a brother?”

Dean smiled and stared down at the table “Yeah, Sammy. He’s a lawyer fresh out of school, he and his fiancé are getting maried in a few months in the same church our parents did.”

Dean was surprised at how much Castiel opened up and how much he did as well in response. He learned that Castiel was the youngest out of his four siblings, his oldest brothers, Michael and Gabriel, were still fisherman, and that their father left them when Castiel was still very young. Dean told him about work at Bobby’s garage, about the lab mix he’s been taking care of for the past few months, about how his parents' marriage started straining while he was still in high school, and how he pretty much had to raise Sammy on his own.

He caught Castiel’s luminous smile in the middle of one of Dean’s tales of his and Sammy’s childhood shenanigans “I…like your smile.” he shyly admitted.

“I like you making me smile.” Castiel beamed, a slight blush creeping over his cheeks.

Before either of them knew it, Anna placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and looked a little sternly at the two of them “I’d hate to break up the party, but we’re setting up for lunch.”

Castiel ducked his head down and quirked a nervous smile “Sorry Anna.”

Dean felt particularly gentleman-like this morning, so he offered to walk Castiel to his car. A crappy old toyota corolla station wagon, but Dean wasn’t about to voice his opinion.

“Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning? Same time?” Castiel was fidgeting nervously with his fingers “I teach an art class at 10.”

“I wish I could, but yes. I will be there.” Dean played, earning one more laugh from Castiel.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was smiling like an idiot the whole drive to the golf course, where he met Sam and Jess. He wasn't a big fan of golf, but currently was stuck in a mood where he was okay playing polo if asked to. 

Multiple frustrated missed swings eventually unscrewed Dean's smile, Jess and his brother chuckling behind him. "No throwing! Come on!" Sam groaned after Dean chucked his golf ball off the hill. "Quit your laughing and let's see what you've got."

Sam lined up his driver with a stance that would put any pro to shame, winding back and slamming into the ball which bounced inches away from a hole-in-one.

"Dude, you suck; you're good at everything."

Sam shrugged, causing an exaggerated eye-roll from his older brother. Dean picked up his club and gripped it tight, placing another ball on the tee "Alright, alright; now keep it down while I whack the crap out of this thing." This time, Dean hit it square on, sending it flying past the flag and over the hill, Dean swearing as it crashed into the trees.

He should've listened to Sam about throwing them. That way he would've have to walk down to the edge of the course to look for the last ball they had that he just sent rocketing toward the exit. "Looking for this?" a familiar voice called.

And there was Castiel, holding Dean's golf ball in those careful fingers. 

"Hey!" Dean beamed "What are you doing here?"

"The same as you. Looking for my ball."

"This is so weird; I've been thinking about you all morning. All day." Dean begrudgingly admitted aloud, cursing the heat he could feel rising to his cheeks. "I can't wait to have breakfast with you again."

"I know." Castiel smirked "And I just want to eat you up. Tomorrow, and the next day," The closer Castiel got, the more Dean backed away before he was stumbling into the grass, falling backwards onto his ass as Castiel continued while running his hands across Dean's chest "and the next day, and the next day..." 

Dean heard Jess' familiar giggle above him and rubbed his eyes. Sure enough, she and Sam were standing over him. "What happened?"

"You're ball hooked into that cart, bounced back and then hit you in the head. It was freaking hilarious!" Sam barely tried to contain his laughter.

"Who's Castiel?" Jess teased.

"I can't be falling for a local!" Dean panicked "I'm never going back to that diner."

Sam examined Dean's temple, pressing a finger to the forming lump "Is this where you got hit?"

"Ah! Yes!" Dean snapped with a grumble "Good thing you're not a doctor."


	3. Chapter 3

"You're so lucky you're a professional cliff diver from Hawaii!" 

Dean strolled into the local bar that was a hotspot for road-trippers and ordered a drink for the first good-looking girl he saw. Light blonde hair, sun-kissed skin, Dean was sure she would get his mind off of his recent infatuation.

"I'm a tax attorney." she told him "We never get to have any fun." Tammy (with a "y" or an "i" Dean couldn't remember for the life of him) stared him down seductively while she sipped at her drink "I think I'm getting a little drunk. Are you getting drunk?"

"Getting there." Dean answered, a little uncomfortable with how hard she was trying.

"So...what are you thinking?"

"What am I thinking?" Dean zoned off. What was he thinking? Dark hair, intense blue eyes, a friendly smile, inviting laugh. "Actually I'm not drunk at all, and neither are you. There isn't any alcohol in these drinks. Sadly I've used this technique many times before." he sluggishly rambled. "It allows lovely women such as yourself to loosen up without impairing your ability to stay up all night and have guilt-free vigorous sex with me."

"Wow." her mouth hung open.

"I'm sorry. I'm not a cliff diver either. I'm afraid of heights." Dean admitted, awkwardly twisting his mouth.

"Well, since it's my last night in town, can I pretend you didn't just say that and still have sex with you anyway?" she slipped a not-so-sly smile.

"I can't do this." Dean stood grab his coat.

Tammi (seriously, was it a "y" or an "i"?) looked insanely offended and pissed "Well, can you at least point me in the direction of someone who can?" 

"Doesn't really matter." Dean shrugged "You're too drunk to notice, right?" he slapped a twenty on the counter and nodded at the bartender "Keep the change."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Bloody Valentine 2009 Spoiler Alert

The next morning was pouring rain, Dean running into the cafe shielding his face with his hand from the rain.

"Hey, you." Anna greeted, straight-faced.

"Hey!" Dean smiled.

"Not 'hey: hello' 'hey: goodbye'. We're closed today. Go away." she shooed him like he was a stray cat looking for scraps.

Dean gestured to the six or seven other people eating breakfast "What are you talking about?" Balthazar rung the counter bell with a happy "Order up!" just in time to prove Dean's point.

Anna sighed and pointed a stern finger in his face "Stay put. I need to talk to you." and she walked off. Just then, Castiel came inside, a dirty trenchcoat held over his head. He took his usual seat, pulling out his paperback novel from the pocket of his coat.

"Hi." Dean shyly approached.

"Hello." Castiel said plainly.

"I'm extra greased today, if you care to take a whiff." Dean grinned, sliding into the booth and pulling at his shirt.

Castiel set his book aside and deadpanned him "What...was that?"

"I was fixing up my spark plugs this morning and was thinking about you the whole time."

He smiled at Dean, but something was off. It seemed almost...nervous. "I think you'd better leave."

"What?" Dean was genuinely shocked "I was just joking around because of what we talked about yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Okay, now he was looking borderline scared. What the hell was going on? "I've never even met you!" Castiel collected his things and trudged away, Dean following. "Balthazar, I need help!"

"Coming, Cassie." Balthazar answered, walking out of the kitchen with a meat cleaver in hand.

Anna brushed passed him "Balt, put that thing down, I'll handle this." She grabbed Dean by the arm and led him outside "And you, follow me."

"What the hell happened? Is he crazy or something?" 

Anna stared him down almost breathlessly, hands up like Dean might run away if she wasn't careful "Castiel is a very special person; very different from other people."

"...Okay?" What the hell?

She looked into the window of the cafe and sighed "About a year ago...Castiel was in a terrible car accident. He just up and decided one day that he wanted to go and search for our father. A stray cow ran in front of his car and he steered off the road, slamming into a tree. We were hoping it was just a few broken ribs when the hospital called us, but he also suffered a serious head injury and lost his short-term memory."

"So..." Dean was still trying to process all of this "he can't remember anything?"

"No, no, no, he has all of his long-term memories. That's a different part of the brain. His whole life, up until the night before the accident he remembers. He just can't retain any new information. It's like..." she paused, trying to find the right words to string together "his slate gets wiped clean every night while he sleeps."

"Hold on, hold on. This sounds like something I'd tell a psycho girl so she'd stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl?" Dean had no way of knowing how to react, so he resorted to the old Dean Winchester way of burlesque and spurning.

"I wish I was making this up!" Anna defended "He has no memory that he ever met you."

"What about the whole 'daddy roadtrip' thing?"

"Thankfully, he doesn't remember making a decision to act on, but he still wakes up every morning in that same mindset that maybe he'll come back one day. He comes here for breakfast every day, because that's what he did on Sunday, the day of the accident. He has no idea it's more than a year later."

"But he reads the newspaper, though." Dean almost bit his tongue that he knew so much about someone he just met.

"It's a special paper our brother puts on the porch every night. It's from the day of the accident. They've got hundreds of them printed out." Anna heaved an exhausted breath "Castiel does the same thing every day."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not only Castiel, but Anna, Balthazar, and their brother Gabriel. They've all lost count on how many times they've watched this damn Vikings game.

"Maybe they'll win for your birthday, Balthazar." Castiel smiled, then turning to Gabriel who sat in the chair next to the couch "And I bet Culpepper runs it in."

"I bet he fakes a handoff to Williams, throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone." Gabriel deadpanned, staring at the deck of cards in his hands. "Loser does the dishes?"

Castiel shook his brother's hand firmly "You're on!"

Like clockwork, Culpepper faked a handoff to Williams and threw the ball to Kleinsasser, the game announcer narrating every second "Touchdown Minnesota!"

"Wow, Gabriel, you're good." Castiel stood to return to the kitchen "Maybe you should be a coach."

As soon as he was out of the room, Anna, who was sitting opposite of Gabriel, gave a blank stare toward her older brother while slowly taking off her shoe and handing it to Balthazar, who chucked it nice and hard at Gabriel's face "Moron!"

So, this is what happens every single day. Castiel paints the white walls of the family garage for Balthazar's birthday. Surprisingly, it's something different every time (Anna says it's his artistic talent temporarily shoving the head injury out of the way) so she and Gabriel take polaroid pictures of whatever he paints and saves them in a shoebox. They throw away the leftover birthday cake (more and more makes it to the trashcan every day), rewrap My Bloody Valentine DVD back up the way Castiel wrapped it, hiding the football video tape in the kitchen, filling up shampoo bottles and setting a newspaper on the front porch.

"I can't believe it; Tom Hanniger was the killer! Did anyone see that coming?" Castiel marveled after they watched MBV for the upteenthed time.

"Not a clue." Gabriel droned. He could probably give write a psych paper on the inner workings of the 5-minute-screen-time victims at this point.

At first, the three siblings tried to get Castiel to understand about the accident when he was released from the hospital. That only lasted about a week before Anna couldn't take that pain-staking look on her little brother's face anymore. Those big tear-filled blue eyes staring at her like she just kicked a puppy to hell and back.


	5. Chapter 5

So, basically, he's the perfect guy for Dean, right?

"You could hang out with him all day, with no attachments because--"

"His plane leaves every night?" Dean interrupted Bobby "There's only one problem with that, Bobby." He rolled himself out from underneath a Ford truck and wiped the smear of grease off his forehead "It's evil."

"Look, I'm not sayin' it ain't. I'm just sayin' no commitment, nobody gets hurt."

"I don't think you understand the part about the brain damage." Dean felt terrible about having to emphasize that last part.

"Okay, I'll give you that one. But I think this could be healthy for you. I mean, ya haven't allowed yourself to connect with anyone since Lisa."

Dean wiped off the oil from his hands with a scraggly old rag and took a swig of whiskey "I appreciate your interest, but leave me alone."

"Hey, you'll be doing exactly what his family does. Giving him a wonderful day, they when it's time for you to go on your cross-country trip: poof. He'll never even know that you're gone." Bobby stole the bottle of whiskey and took a good gulp "Humor me for a second, son. Quit bein' a idjit and at least try and make it work with this guy. If he weren't that special you'da shut up about him by now."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He let what Bobby said marinate the whole night, and Dean finally got the courage to walk into the cafe again the next morning.

"How is it?" Dean asked, poking his head through the kitchen doorway.

"Hey, peanut butter cups, what are you doing here?" Balthazar grinned, putting fresh pancakes on a plate and dinged the counter bell.

"I just wanted to say hi to Castiel." Balthazar gave him a disapproving look. "I promise I'm not gonna do anything wrong."

"What did Anna say?"

"She said if I try to talk to him, you'll kill me with a meat cleaver."

Balthazar grinned smugly, chopping a can of Spam in half with said meat cleaver "She's the boss. But don't worry, Cassie probably didn't want to talk to you anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"This isn't a disco. He doesn't want people hitting on him while he has his breakfast."

"He does if it's Dean Winchester."

"Who's that?"

"Who's that? Me that. And I bet you twenty bucks I can get him to have breakfast with me again."

Balthazar smirked, confident he knew his little brother better than this joker and shook his hand "You're on."

 

Once again, Castiel was working intricately with sliced pieces of waffles. This time it was a very similar design from the other day, with the same problem. This immediately clicked in Dean's brain and he grabbed a toothpick from the cup on the counter. "How about you try this?" he said with a friendly smile, sliding the toothpick gently into the waffle and moving the pinned piece. "See? Swivelly door. Now waffleonians can come in and out." 

Castiel leaned his chin on his folded hands and looked up at Dean "I'm sorry, are you from a country where it's alright to stick your fingers in someone else's food?"

"No, I'm from this country..." he chuckled nervously "Why, were you gonna eat that?" Crash and burn.

Dean gave him a "Have a nice meal." before walking away.

"That was pathetic." Balthazar shook his head while cleaning off his kitchen knife.

"Double or nothing tomorrow."

Of course, Balthazar earned forty dollars the next day when Castiel pretended to not know a lick of english. 

The day after that, Dean wasn't willing to give up. He splashed some water droplets from his cup onto his face and began to whine more and more until Castiel noticed. "Are you okay?" Dean could feel Castiel's gentle hand on his back.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just having a problem with something."

"Is it something that I could help you with?"

"No, no, no, no, I just...can't....read."

Balthazar should be in the Olympics for eye-rolling "You've got to be kidding me." and went to the back of the kitchen so he didn't have to see this Hindenburg like the other trial and errors.

"I can read that for you." Castiel offered.

"No, that's alright. Appreciate the sentiment, but I can do this on my own."

Castiel placed a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder. "Well, then how about I teach you?"

"Thank you. You're so nice." Castiel returned to his table and beckoned Dean over, who gave Balthazar a smug look and shrug before joining him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So i comes before e? Except after c? And c is the little half circle one, right?" Of course Dean had barely been paying attention to the actual grammar portion. "How did you get so good at teaching?" 

"I'm an art teacher. I do it all the time."

"You look like the kind of teacher all the kids have crushes on. I know I would." On a normal day, Dean would've slapped the shit out of himself for saying something like that. But because he was the illiterate man-child who couldn't read the word 'pancakes', it was called for.

Just like before, Dean walked Castiel to his (POS) car and continued on polite conversation. He was ready to ask him out until paranoia and cold feet struck "I'll...see you around." He turned a heel and cursed under his breath.

"That's it?"

"What?"

"All that flirting and the illiteracy act and you're not going to ask to see me again or how to contact me?" He looked insulted and a little pissed. 

Dean rambled on, trying to cover or to explain himself, but Castiel rolled his window up and tore out of the parking lot.


	6. Chapter 6

Anna was nice enough to let Dean follow her home after Castiel, however she stayed in her car when they arrived. Dean spotted a dark-haired man just pulling up in a Buik behind the house's garage. "Excuse me, my name's Dean. I--"

"I know who you are." the man stated with an angry undertone, slamming his car door. He stood about Dean's height, black gelled hair and cold brown eyes. 

"I assume you're Michael."

"You assumed correctly." 

"Look, I just want to apologize to your brother--"

"Not gonna happen. Castiel is inside, and that's where he'll stay. You and me are gonna straighten some things out."

"Michael!" another voice called from the side of the house "The damn coyote got in the garbage again!" This guy looked a little shorter. Light brown hair just long enough to be pushed behind his ears. Golden eyes behind black sunglasses. "Is this the guy?" 

Shit. He made a beeline to Dean.

And when the hell did Michael get so close? "Mr. Winchester, I'm going to ask you one time. Stay away from my brother."

"Absolutely. I hurt his feelings and I don't want it to end that way."

"It's gonna end like this." Who Dean guessed was Gabriel took a swing at his jaw and Dean barely dodged it and surprised himself with quickly getting Gabriel in a headlock. "I'm gonna kill you! You're a dead man! Okay. I'm calm." Dean let him go. A couple more seconds and Gabriel probably would've slipped out of his grip and wouldn't miss the next punch. "It's just my family and I work too hard to protect Cassie. And I'm not about to let some idiot with the hots for him come in and ruin it all."

"I know all about what you guys do, and I respect that."

"If you know about his condition, then you know he can't have a normal relationship with anyone because the next morning, he won't know who they are." 

Gabriel cut in "And anyone who's okay with that ain't okay with us."

What the hell? Dean was cornered between these two "I'm not looking for a one-night stand."

"Anything with Cassie is a one-night stand, chucklehead. Do us all a favor and stay away from the Novak Cafe, alright? My little brother's been through enough."

It got awkwardly quiet after that. How Michael looked so cool yet like he was about to break every bone in Dean's face, was beyond Dean. "Okay. I'm sorry." He heard Anna come between the two of them "Alright, I'll see Mr. Winchester here home."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what Dean was doing wasn't wrong. Gabriel told him to stay away from the Novak Cafe. And he's not there. "Sorry to bother you. I'm kind of stuck here." 

"Oh. Car trouble?" Castiel smiled awkwardly when Dean waved for him to pull over. 

Baby was parked on the side of the road with red cables coming out of her engine. "Do you mind giving me a jump?"

"No I don't mind at all."

"Thank you." Dean grinned, attaching the jump cables to Castiel's Toyota. "You're very sweet. Not everybody would've stopped. What's your name?"

"I'm Castiel." There was that smile.

"I'm Dean. Nice to meet you." 

And it was nice. He met him as a construction trafficker in the rain one morning and talked about making houses out of waffles. Almost met him when he tried to get him to stop with his new lab mix, Benny, which Castiel almost hit with his car. 

Yeah. Bad idea putting a puppy in the middle of the road. 

Next time, he got help from his friend, Frank. "Okay, this is him. Start beating me up. And make it convincing." Dean had to tell him to cool it with the punches and kicks before he called out to Castiel for help. And...was that a baseball bat?

Yup. Castiel had Frank on the ground taking pretty damn good swings at him for what a little guy he looked like. Castiel chased Frank down the hill (thank God Frank was fast when he really wanted to be). "Sorry about that." Castiel pulled Dean to his feet, out of breath. "I'm in a community watch program."

"You crazy son of a bitch!" Frank called from the distance, holding his sore leg.

"Keep running!" Castiel yelled.

Okay, so that wasn't a good idea either. Hopefully this next plan wouldn't cause anyone any physical pain or trauma. Dean sat in the open trunk of his impala, bound with rope and duct tape over his mouth. He laid down helplessly when he heard approaching tires.

It was a Pontiac Firebird. False alarm. "Don't worry. I called the police. I'm all set."

Shit. It was Gabriel and Balthazar.

"When you're finished playing your kidnap victim crap with my brother, come by the house." 

Oh boy.

So he did. Balthazar, Anna, and Gabriel met him at the driveway "There's something I wanna show you."

Gabriel opened the garage door just a peek. Just enough so they could all see Castiel inside wearing old raggedy jeans and a worn grey sweatshirt. He was standing on top of a step ladder painting a moonlit lake on the walls and singing REO Speedwagon. And he wasn't all that bad. He was an octave lower, of course, and his voice got a little hoarse at the higher parts, but all in all, he had an almost angelic singing voice. 

The three siblings led Dean back to the front of the house "We figured it out." Anna began "He only sings on days he meets you." 

"You're kidding me. That song?"

"It was our father's favorite song." Anna smiled. 

"Cassie would have Gabriel and Michael take it on all our fishing trips. He figured it would make us miss dad. We never really liked talking about him, but Cassie got us to anyway. He didn't really know our father."

"I'm seeing a whole new side of you, V-neck. I gotta say it's grossing me out." 

"Let me ask you something." Gabriel cut in "What do you get out of this?"

Dean gave it some thought. He's given it a lot of thought for a while. "I don't know." Obviously that wasn't a good enough answer. "But let me ask you guys something. What'll happen down the line? He's gonna wake up one day and notice his face has aged twenty years overnight."

"You know what, Dean?" Anna stared, her arms crossed over her chest. Her voice wavered "I worry about that every damn day of my life."


	7. Chapter 7

So maybe Castiel's family didn't hate Dean as much as he thought they did. Of course they were protective of their youngest. Who wouldn't be? (Especially in this kind of craphole of a situation) So Dean pushed on. He stopped by the cafe for breakfast again the next morning, Castiel still reading the same book he had for the bast week and a half.

"Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we were both eating alone and I thought I could sit with you? Maybe build a syrup jacuzzi for your waffle house?"

"Oh, that would be nice, but..." there's that 'but' "I uh...have a boyfriend so...I'm sorry."

He was trying to be nice about it. Dean was sure Castiel just wanted to read in peace, but even someone who hadn't met him a thousand different times could see right through that. Dean couldn't help it "You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me?" he chuckled.

"No. I'm not." Castiel was a terrible liar. 

"What's his name then?"

Castiel faltered for a few seconds "...Jensen."

Dean raised an eyebrow and smirked "Is his last name Ackles?"

"No, Padalecki!" he knew he was done for, but for some reason Castiel just kept rolling with it.

Dean turned the other way to laugh under his breath.

"Oh no."

"Alright, I'm sorry. I'll just go." Dean surrendered, still snickering.

"No! This cop is writing me a ticket!" Castiel slung his coat into the crook of his elbow and ran outside. 

"I wouldn't go out there! Wait!" Dean called, but it was two late. By the time he caught up, Castiel was already in a semi-heated debate with the police officer.

"The tags don't expire for another seven months."

"They expired May of this year."

"No, no no. They expire May of next year." Castiel snatched the paper when the cop handed to him and crumpled it up in his fist "This is ridiculous. I'm not paying for this. It's October." He grabbed a newspaper from a random bystander's hand "Look. Octob--" He stared at the date and furrowed his brow "...What?"

"Cassie, let's go inside." Anna tried to take the paper and herd him back into the cafe, but Castiel rushed over to the newspaper dispenser and pulled each one out, confusion snowballing into full-blown panic. Nobody could catch him before he jumped into his car and sped off.

"Shit." Gabriel knew his little brother speeding onto they're property like that was never a good sign. 

Castiel ran up the porch steps and demanded an explanation, terror all over his face. There was no way around this. No more tricks. By the time Anna, Balthazar, and Dean arrived, Gabriel had told Castiel about the accident and showed him the pile of repeat newspapers hidden in the cellar. Anna reached to place a comforting hand on his back, but Castiel ripped away and raced into the back woods and onto the lake dock. They all ran after him, hearing a tattered "Why!" tear from his lungs. When they approached him, his face was buried in his hands. His shoulders shook in soft sobs as tears spilled through his fingers. Balthazar came forward with a leather scrapbook in his hands, photos and paper and sticky notes jetting out of the sides. He held it out to him "Cassie...these are from the accident." 

He reluctantly took it from him. Opening up to drawings and cards from his art students, all wishing him 'get well soon'. A few pages brought him to his medical overview. A photo of himself, battered and bruised, a line of at least ten or fifteen stitches across the side of his head, paper-clipped to the page. Castiel winced at the sight of it, bringing his hand up to that spot and rubbing his fingers there. He stared up, wide-eyed at his big brother "I can feel it."

"You were in the hospital for three months." Anna knelt down next to him, tears in her eyes "We were so afraid you wouldn't wake up."

Castiel shook his head "I have to talk to this doctor. I need to hear it from her."

"You have heard it, Cassie. Many times."

"...I have?"

"I'll take him." Dean interjected. "I...I have to hear it for myself, too."

So they all piled into Dean's impala. Castiel jumped into the front seat, not wanting to be comforted right now. Leaving Anna, Balthazar and Gabriel seated in the back, keeping a close eye on him. He handed the scrapbook behind him "Anna please take this. I can't look at it anymore."

"It's gonna be alright, Cas." Dean quirked the corner of his mouth in an attempted smile. He wasn't the best in the consolation department.

"Don't call me 'Cas'. I barely know you."

"Sweetheart," Anna cleared her through from the backseat "you're sort of dating him."

This rendered him virtually dumbfounded. Castiel was left trying to string words together while Dean had a cheeky grin glued to his face. 

"What else happened since last October? What about my students?"

"Oh, Jo Harvelle took over your class." Balthazar answered.

"...Did Ruby marry that guy?" 

"Mhm." Gabriel nodded.

Castiel turned to Dean, leaning in a little whispering "Do we have sex?"

Dean looked around the car nervously, finding three pairs of eyes staring daggers into him "Uh, no. We don't. Just so everyone here knows that."

That made them relax a bit.

"We want to." 

Daggers were back.

"...Just kidding."

Castiel ignored this, looking down pensively at his feet "So you all lie to me every day."


	8. Chapter 8

The doctor wasn't what Dean expected. A short brunette with intense brown eyes and curly shoulder-length hair. "Alright, Castiel, these are your brain scans here. I'm afraid they show no improvement. The temporal lobe was severely damaged." She slid her finger to different parts of the blue papers "What we believe is scar tissue here is impairing your ability to convert short-term memory into long-term memory while you sleep." She sighed and placed the scans back into a manila folder "Your condition is stable, but most likely permanent. I'm sorry, angel." Her mouth twisted , trying and not really succeeding in being as comforting as possible. Obviously sharing Dean's issue. "But it could be worse."

Cas looked up at her with his sad blue eyes looking like he's lost all hope "How?"

"I think it's time for you to meet eight-second-Ash."

She led the group through the entertainment room. Left and right there were men and women with scars, stitches, gauze, and empty confused faces reading, drawing, but most just sitting and staring into space. Probably waiting. For a miracle most likely. Or maybe for it all just to be over.

Dr. Masters opened a door at the end of the hallway where a lean man with a greasy mullet and sleeveless shirt stood staring at the wall "Ash is our most distinguished clinical subject."

"Hey, I'm Ash." he shook everyone's hand, they introduced themselves as he went down the line.

"Nice hair, Ash." Dean commented, half serious.

"Like that?" he flipped it around and showed it off "Business in the front. Party in the back." And suddenly he blinked and smiled, holding out his hand "Hey I'm Ash."

"Ash lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts eight seconds."

"I was in an accident? That's terrible!"

Meg stood, crossing her arms with an entertained smirk "Don't worry, you'll get over it in about three seconds."

"Get over it? What the hell happened? Did I get shot in the brain or--Hey I'm Ash."

Yep. It could be worse. Luckily Cas thought so too; he was much calmer on the drive home. 

"I'm going to bed now. I'll see you all tomorrow." Castiel announced from the front porch. His eyes landed on Dean "And...will I see you, too?"

"Yeah." Dean smirked "You're not getting rid of me that easy."

This pulled a slight smile from Castiel "Thank you for being so kind to me today."

"No problem. Sorry you had such a rough day."

"Try not to..." Cas bit his lip, searching for words " 'strike out' tomorrow." He turned to hid a smile and shut the door behind him.

Dean wasn't even going to try to wipe that stupid grin off his face. "Lover boy." he heard Balthazar call behind him.

Dean spun around on his heel "Yup?"

"You don't have to rush off. Stick around." Anna winked "You've earned yourself a couple beers."

The four all sat around a blue cooler on Gabriel's docked boat that he built from scratch. The boat conversation eventually led into Michael and dad talk, which obviously everyone was sensitive about, but were willing to share. "I don't even know why he bothers showing up to check up on us." Anna commented with pursed angry lips. Gabriel took a swig of his beer, always one to lighten the mood "So, Dean, this trip of yours, when's it gonna go down?"

"I was supposed to take it last year, but I wrecked my car pretty bad and it took me a while to get 'er up and running again."

"How long will you be gone?" Anna asked.

Dean shrugged "Dunno. I figured I'd just start driving and won't come back 'til I hit the coast."

"Well," Balthazar groaned and leaned back, stretching tiredly in his fold-out chair "I guess you won't miss days like these."

Dean's mouth twisted "Maybe days like these don't have to be so bad."

"What are you trying to say?" Gabriel furrowed his brow

"I'm saying when you guys tell him, he's not just finding out about the accident, he's finding out that pretty much his whole life is a setup. I think that's what freaks him out the most."

"What, you're an expert now?" Gabriel's voice raised a little.

"No." Dean defended "I'm just saying I wish there was another way other than 'Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's some pictures of your broken head.'"

Gabriel shot up, knocking his chair over "You want a broken head, huh, smart guy?"

"Why?" Anna challenged, still seated "You gonna give it to him?"

Gabriel reluctantly defumed and sat back down.

Dean retracted and said his goodnights, even after Anna was kind enough to insist he stay. He opened the driver's door of his impala and noticed the scrapbook was still laid out in the back seat. He looked over his shoulders and shut the door behind him, pulling the scrapbook into the passenger seat and driving home. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Dean had to work. Some idiot drove into a curb so he and Bobby had to replace three tires and two rims. He was able to catch Cas right as he headed for his front porch steps. "Castiel Novak?"  
"Yes?"

"I have a delivery for you." he turned up the charm and handed him the wrapped rectangle.

Cas hesitated at first "For me? ...Who's it from?"

"That I can't tell you. It's...sort of a secret admirer." 

"Who's your friend, Cassie?" Balthazar interrupted.

"I don't know, we just met. But look, it's a video tape." Castiel stared at it in his hands

Balthazar took this opportunity to give Dean a quick set of suspicious eyes "A video tape of what?"

"I have no idea." Cas smiled "But I have to find out. Oh, and happy birthday, Balthazar!"

Dean waited until Cas was completely inside before approaching his big brother "Yeah, happy birthday. How old are you now, 400?"

"Oh yeah, that's cute. What the hell are you doing, Dean?"

"I just wanted to try something different. If it doesn't work, we've only wasted one day."

Dean heard REO Speedwagon playing from the living room, so obviously Cas was watching the video. The first thing to greet him was an angel statue that prayed to the ceiling, seated on a bookshelf. He peeked into the living room where Castiel was seated on the floor in front of the TV, tears in his eyes, a picture of a newspaper article title "Stray cow causes accident" flashing across the screen, Anna standing next to him and Gabriel on the couch.

His own voice caught his attention "Hey Cas. My name is Dean Winchester. You and I met here at your sister's cafe about a year after your accident. I like you and you like me. Most days. Every day is different, but basically this is what happens.Here, Sam, take the camera."

"Okay." Sam answered in the background before rustling and changing of camera angles.

"The part of you in this reenactment will be played by my good friend, Garth."

Garth was seated in the window-side booth wearing a tan coat similar to Cas' hanging loosely on his thin shoulders and arms "Heya, Cas! Sorry about your head."

"Hi. I like the waffle teepee that you have built."

"Oh. So nice of you to notice. Please, sit down."

Thank the heavens those two weren't working toward an acting career. Cas outright giggled to himself just watching. 

"My name is Dean, by the way."

"My name is Castiel."

"Smell my hands?"

Garth took an exasperated wiff of Dean's fingers and gave a cheesy smile to the camera "Car grease!"

"I work at a repair shop just down the road."

Suddenly, a grey figure crept into the corner of the screen. Dean rolled his eyes at the googly sock puppet Garth had on his left hand, and even more so at the high-pitched voice he made come out of it "I love repair shops!"

"Okay cut it out with the puppet!" Dean broke out into an argument with Mr. Fizzles, eventually apologizing toward the camera "I'm sorry. It's late and my friend's a little unstable."

Mr. Fizzles crept into the frame again and smacked a big kiss onto Dean's cheek. Dean slapped it away and landed a few softened punches on Garth's shoulder, who was tittering as he shielded himself. Cas smiled at the two screwing around with each other, his attention drawn back when Dean took the video camera from Sam's hand "Anyways, I know you wish I was making all this stuff up. I wish I was, too. But the good news is there are so many people out there that care about you."

The camera panned out slightly before switching over to footage of Anna, holding a photograph of the four of them, looking ten to fifteen years younger "Cas, when you were little, and missed dad, or were scared of a thunderstorm, I would promise that I'd always take care of you." Her eyes began welling up with tears, but she smiled through it "Sometimes life isn't very fair. But we still have you." Cas had to look away, to wipe his own salty pools. "Oh, and if you're wondering about the guy who's making this tape, he's okay."

"Hey, Cassie." Gabriel grinned on the TV "Just so you know, since you lost your memory, I became governor of Kansas." The camera panned out to show him standing at the side of their house, throwing out the garbage. "Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm too smart."

The camera was zoomed in close enough you could make out all the freckles on Dean's face, his smile softer than usual "So, whenever you're ready, we'd all love to talk to you and answer any questions you might have, and you're the best, Cas. Bye." And the video cut off, popping out of the VCR.

Cas shut his eyes for a moment and swallowed "How many times have I watched this?"

"This is the first time." Balthazar answered. 

Cas felt numb sitting on the edge of the pier, the chilly breeze sticking his bangs up. The small crashing of the algae waves were the only movement he noticed. And how the hell did it come to this? Just this morning Castiel just wanted to go have his favorite breakfast and come home to celebrate his brother's birthday. Nothing more. Now he feels like his day has been just one big sick joke that he hasn't gotten yet. That stranger, Dean, was standing with Balthazar, Anna, and Gabriel next to their front yard wisteria tree, watching him no doubt. Suddenly Cas was noticing Michael still wasn't making an appearance, a year after supposedly being out of a coma with brain damage. But why expect anything at this point?

He cried silently for about an hour. Watching it was like carving out your own heart with a butter knife, but Dean figured they could do this every day. Let him come to grips with what happened, and then get his life back. Cas trudged toward them with his hands crammed in his pockets "H-how's the cow?"

"Same as you," Dean smiled "every day they have to convince her she's a cow."

Dean was treading thin ice on a touchy subject, but was rewarded with an upward quirk of Castiel's mouth.

After another fifteen or twenty minutes of time on his own, Castiel asked Dean to take him to the site of the accident. It was a surprising request, but Dean was willing to oblige him. It was a small grove surrounding an open field of tall golden grass, separated by a rotting wooden fence. The biggest tree was singled out away from the others, a big scar marring it's trunk. Cas ran his fingers down the mark, marveling at the areas growing back after only a year "Look. The bark is healing."

And you'll get there, too, Dean wanted to say. He opened his mouth, but his words were crammed back into this throat when the setting sun hit Castiel just right. His tanned face practically radiated an angelic glow. Dean knew Cas noticed him staring. And didn't care. "I've never hung out with you in the afternoon like this." Dean began, framing his hands like a camera lens zooming in and out of Castiel's face "In this lighting, man, you look...disgusting."

Cas chuckled lightly and closed into Dean's personal space "Well, I don't see how you get me to fall for those bowlegs every morning."

"It's easy." Dean chuckled "I just slide on my designer jeans and sort of wiggle in front of you. You go nuts." They both trickled into laughter, which also died down, leaving them walking side-by-side deeper into the grass. "Why couldn't I have met you one day before the accident?" Cas asked this with a smile, but his voice sounded bitter and sad. Dean craved physical contact, but also didn't want to rush anything. Everything was still sensitive, so he settled for just walking closer, their shoulders brushing gently together with each step "Don't worry. Because if you hung out with me for more than one day, you'd figure out I'm a bore."

"It takes less than one day." Castiel stated with a serious tone. It took until Dean actually looked at him that he was attempting to repress a smile. "You know, that hurt." Dean stood in front of Cas, dramatically placing his hand over his heart "Your damaged temporal lobe is causing me pain; and I'm gonna get you for that." And that was the first time Dean heard Cas laugh since they first met. It was a bittersweet breath of fresh air knowing there might be times he won't get to hear that, but Dean was ready to take whatever he could get.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean's next step was _Cas Getting His Life Back Together_. After about an hour following the morning watch of the video tape that was left conveniently by the side of his bed, Cas was ready to go out to lunch with some old high school friends. "You're looking well, Rachel." he greeted a sandy-haired women with a quick but tender embrace. "We're so glad to see that you're okay." Rachel looked at him so endearingly, Dean figured he was closest to her out of the group. Uriel and Joshua sat opposite them in the cafe booth.

Dean wouldn't admit it out loud, but that Uriel guy was kinda scary. But Cas seemed to be fond of him, so Dean made polite conversation. Joshua was pretty cool. He was a little soft-spoken, but looked like he had a lot to say. "You must be Castiel's friend. The one who made the tape?"

Dean nodded, smiling and reaching under the table to place his hand gently over Cas'. He didn't pull away, which was definitely a good sign "I think he's more than my friend." He turned those dazing blue eyes toward Dean "Right?"

Dean returned this with a soft quirk of his lips.

Rachel was a nice girl. Very friendly and seemed to care immensely for Castiel. "So, everyday you help him to realize what happened...and you patiently wait for him to be okay with it...and then you get him to fall in love with you again?"

 _Fall in love_ wasn't exactly the phrase he was looking for, but it made his stomach do this warm churn. Happy. Dean felt Cas lace their fingers together under the table, which morphed Dean's smirk into a full-blown grin.

Dean learned a lot more than he expected about what Cas was like before the accident. Apparently, in high school, Cas was a bit of a nerd. Okay, a lot of a nerd. And he didn't have many friends aside from a small group of people, most of which were seated at the cafe with them. He could relate. In high school, it was just him and Sammy. Dean liked to keep to himself (excluding the occasional girl in the janitor's closet). Cas discovered his passion for art his freshman year and took classes that allowed him to paint into the later hours of the day so he wouldn't have to go home to the arguing.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dark before they were alone. Dean parked the Impala out in the middle of an old field he and Sam used to play in when they were small, where they sat on their jackets and gazed at the stars. "So, tell me a little about yourself." Cas uttered into the camera angled up at Dean.

"Well..." Dean rubbed awkwardly at his neck "I've seen _Black Swan_ twice."

Cas smiled, mirrored by Dean's "Really?"

"Yes. Uh...I'm a rock star, but only in my car and shower. I've read _The Hobbit_ and _The Princess Bride_ about a million times." This time, the smiles rolled into laughter "I don't know, what do you want to know?"

"...Do you love me?"

Dean's eyes shot up. Cas realized he must've made him uncomfortable and adjusted himself on the hood so he was facing Dean full-frontal "I don't mean to put you on the spot, I was just asking for informational purposes to keep the video is as up-to-date as possible."

Dean smirked at Cas' crooked nervous smile "Sure." His hand found its way to the back of his neck again "Well, love is a very loaded word...Let's see...I go to this restaurant every morning. And I see you there, reading. And..." Dean's green eyes met Cas' blue ones and he felt so bare; everything out in the open. "I love you very much. Probably more than anybody could love another person." 

Cas lowered the camera slowly into his lap, awestruck. He closed into Dean's personal space, placing a slightly cold hand on Dean's cheek and kissed him. It was barely contact at first, without movement. Dean deepened the kiss, leaning in and caressing Cas' jawline with his thumb. Pulling away, Dean took a deep breath through his nose and leaned his forehead against Castiel's.

And it couldn't get any better than this.


	10. Chapter 10

Except it could.

Nothing beats a first kiss, that's true. But also, nothing beats Cas pressing his whole body against his, exploring every inch of his mouth. The kisses started off careful and overly-tender. However, it didn't take long for Cas to get confident and start initiating open-mouthed kisses. Dean sometimes wrapping his arms around Cas' waist lifting his feet off the ground. They kissed in public places more and more. In the parking lot of the cafe, outside of the Salvage Yard, at the lake, in the Novak's driveway. But they were much more comfortable in the privacy of Cas' back porch, in, on and around the Impala, or anywhere behind Dean's apartment door.

Now, they were on Dean's couch. The tv was on low volume showing some re-runs of Days of Our Lives, which was all fine and dandy because Dean was a little distracted with how fucking awesome making out with Cas was. They both jumped at Dean's Smoke on the Water ringtone. Dean groaned, kissing Castiel's eyelid before reaching over him to grab his phone. His irritated expression washed right away when he held it to his ear "Mom? Hey. It's a little late, are you okay?"

"Would you like to explain to me why you never told me you were seeing someone?"

"How did you--"

"I'm your mother. I know everything."

Dean could hear Mary's smile over the phone while he let everything process "Sam told you didn't he?"

"Don't be angry, he brought it up thinking I already knew."

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose "How much did he tell you?"

Mary's voice took on her mother-hen tone she used whenever Dean would scrape his knee "I know about his condition, if that's what you're asking."

He ran a languid, calloused hand over his face and sighed deep.

"So is he coming over for dinner or what?"

"Uh..." Dean looked over at Castiel, who smiled softly and shrugged. "Yeah. Yeah he is. Tomorrow night good?"

"That's fine. Dinner will be ready around 8."

Cas loved how innocent and young Dean looked when talking with his mother. He leaned into his shoulder and breathed him in, Dean's voice and eyes growing softer still as the phone call ended. "Alright, we'll be there. I love you, too. Bye, Mom."

"Look," Dean began "I can call her right back if this makes you feel uncomfortable. I just...thought you'd want to meet my family."

"You spent all that time with mine and didn't go crazy." Cas breathed out a small laugh "I'd love to meet them."


	11. Chapter 11

Cas showed up at Dean's apartment in a black suit with a backwards blue tie and his tan overcoat. "Dude, what are you wearing?"

"You said we were having dinner with your parents." he answered with what Dean swore was a pout.

"Yeah, at my parent's house, not the FBI. You look like you're starring in an Al Pacino movie." Dean took Cas by the hand and led him down the hall to his bedroom. "I don't have anything that nice, except for my dad's old suit that makes me look like one of the blues brothers, and I can't have you showing me up in front of my family." Dean teased.

"Here." he grinned, handing Cas a pair of jeans and a red plaid shirt "We've got time."

Dean was a little worried the clothes wouldn't fit Cas, but boy was he wrong. They fit damn good. He needed a belt, though, but that just added on to the tickle in the back of Dean's head ready to shoot down to between his legs. He swatted that away quick because, come on, he's about to go see his mom. Just, no.

Pulling into the driveway, Dean noticed a black Dodge Charger parked at the side of the house "Huh, Sam made it." He started opeing his door until felt a grip on his elbow "Wait, Dean."

"Cas what's wrong?" Dean let the car door slide back just far enough so it wouldn't click shut. Cas was obviously worked up over something.

"Do they know?" Cas paused before placing two fingers to the side of his head right about where his scar was "About..."

Dean took that hand in his "Yeah. My mom said she talked to Sam. But she doesn't care, trust me. She mostly just wants to meet you."

Castiel relaxed with a deep sigh "Alright."

Sam was the first to greet them at the door. A broad-shouldered man with hair that brushed his shirt collar and big inviting hazel eyes. He wrapped Dean in a bear hug, actually having to lean down a bit to do it. Sam had almost a full head on Cas, who had to look _up_ to talk to him; a lot bigger than he looked in the photos he had seen. "Hey, Castiel." Sam greeted with a dimple-accompanied grin "Nice to meet you."

Cas' hands looked tiny compared to Sam's, whose firm hold was covered by Cas' other hand.

In the kitchen were two blonde women. One on the left, Cas recognized as Jessica, who hugged him gentle and sincere with a smile like sunshine. Mary greeted the same, her arms soft and welcoming "I'm glad you could join us, Castiel."

Footsteps on the wooden stairs caught Cas' attention to where Dean was shaking hands with a scruffy older man with dark hair and eyes. "John Winchester, this is Castiel Novak." Dean introduced when Cas approached them "Cas, this is my dad." Dean's hand on Cas' arm was tense, nervous. Cas shook John's hand, and gave a steadfast squeeze "Pleasure." John held an arm out toward the kitchen "Should we sit down?"

Dinner was baked chicken with carrots and potatoes. The way Mary explained the recipe was so simple there was no way creating the explosion in Cas' mouth was that easy. Must've been some secret feminine touch. "Anna would love to make this at home."

"Who all lives with you, Cas?" Jess asked.

He proceeded to tell them about Anna and Gabriel and Balthazar. Skipping the details on Michael and only sparing "he's out of the picture" when the topic shifted to his father. He told them about how Anna opened up the cafe while he was still in high school after an old dive-in closed down. He talked about how he volunteered at the rec center and ended up taking up a teaching job at the local middle school.

"When Mary said Dean was seeing someone, she didn't mention they were a..." Dean let his fork drop with a bang onto his plate, staring daggers at his father "...artist." John continued "How'd you manage that?"

Dean shifted a quick glance in Cas' direction "Just lucky, I guess." 

"I'd say so. He's a cutie." Mary smiled and scrunched up her nose teasingly at Cas' blush. "Okay. Who wants dessert?" 

"I thought I smelled pie." Dean beamed when Mary pulled an apple pie from the window. He was more than happy to help pass slices out to everyone. The apple slices were soft on the inside of the golden-brown dough, with a taste of cinnamon coating evenly in the filling with a touch of brown sugar. Cas understood now why Dean loved pie so much. Dean pulled his camera out of his coat pocket to film Cas covering his mouth from shock at the dance on his taste buds. "Good huh?"

The accident never came up. The recap tape was just a passing topic. For a moment, Cas felt like he had a normal life and absolutely hated the fact that he wouldn't remember this tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I wanted to write in the classic suit and trenchcoat combo, I can't shake that gifset of Misha in red plaid.  
> And I'm sorry if it gets off-character. I had a hard time writing John and Mary.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first try at smut so don't judge me

Cas was supposed to just go back to Dean's place to grab his clothes he changed out of, but one thing led to another and they were back on the couch with their hands fisted in each other's shirts. Neither really know how it happened.

_"Your mother is a sweetheart." Cas grinned "And your father...I can see where the 'strong-silent' thing comes from." Dean smirked and pushed open his apartment door and flicked on the lights._

_"Your clothes are folded up on the table over there. I can take you home now or after you change; whatever you're comfortable with." Dean was still super embarrassed and guilty that the interaction with his father could've gone better. Cas could tell just by that solemn look on his face._

_Cas rolled up the suit and coat into this arms and stood as if ready to go. Dean reached for his keys but stopped at the plop of clothes on the floor and felt the fabric of the tie slip around the back of his neck. Cas pulled Dean toward him, inches from his face "I'd like to stay."_

Okay. So that's how it happened.

There was still a lingering taste of apple pie on Cas' tongue which Dean couldn't get enough of. He curled his fingers in that dark mess of hair and swears he hears Cas growl from underneath him and _fuck that's hot_. Dean's a little embarrassed at how that shoots right to his dick and slows down.

"It's okay." Cas takes Dean's hand and drags it down to the hard-on forming in his own pants for reassurance. Okay, so he's not alone. They're kissing again, more fiercely than before. Dean snakes his arms around Castiel's waist and lifts him up "Bed." Cas' legs wrapped around Dean's hips, grinding down to gain some quick friction.

Once the door is kicked shut behind them, Cas forces Dean's arms off him to get to his feet, unbuttoning the plaid shirt and unbuckling his belt. A full-body tingle runs through Dean because hell yes that sounds like a plan. Dean starts shedding his own clothes without half a thought, eyes never leaving Cas' strip tease for a second. A moment later, Cas has Dean's face in his hands, claiming his mouth before he even pulled the belt completely out of the loops. Dean's hands roam Castiel's bare chest, much more toned and muscular than that baggy overcoat leads on. Cas gasps at the contact and pulls Dean down onto the bed, rolls over on top of him while Dean works off his jeans. Cas was a lot stronger than he looked. Of course Dean was horny, needy and pliant right now, but being dominated was triggering a kink he didn't even know he _had_.

"Fuck" Dean growls when Cas starts kissing down his jawline and neck, stopping at his collarbone to suck a bruise there. Cas wanted to mark Dean everywhere. As his. A reminder for tomorrow that _yes, this is my life. It's not a dream and I'm not losing it just yet._ Cas makes his way down with soft kisses at freckle-covered skin and unbuttons Dean's jeans. Dean's erection is throbbing painfully behind the denim and he fucking _mewls_ beneath him.

Cas kisses the inside of Dean's bare thigh before sliding his boxers down to his knees. Dean's cock is flushed and pulsing with arousal, precome already beading at the head. Cas takes him inch by agonizing inch into his mouth and Dean whimpers, grabbing a fistful of sheets and gripping tight. Castiel let's out a low raspy moan when he's finally swallowed all of Dean and his throat goes lax. Dean hisses as Cas' slick lips and hot tongue drag across his length over and over again, sending sparks of electricity shooting up his spine. Castiel was determined and succeeding at giving Dean the best blowjob of his life. Dean carded his fingers into Cas' hair, his fingernails scratching lightly at the scalp. Before anyone has to worry about getting the end result too early, Cas let's go to catch a quick breath and Dean cups his face and pulls him up for a desperate kiss before he can go down again. "I've never done that before." Cas admits. Dean smiles into the next kiss because _Jesus Christ_ he's fucking amazing. "Let's get these off" and begins pushing Cas' jeans down his thighs. 

Apparently, just sucking Dean off was enough to get Cas completely hard. Cas kicks off his jeans onto the floor (and his boxers for good measure) and goes back to straddling Dean's hips. "I want..." Cas groans at Dean's throat and presses down onto Dean's leaking cock "I _need_..." And Dean almost unravels right there. He kisses Cas' cheekbone before pulling out from underneath him and grabbing lube and a condom from his nightstand. Castiel takes the condom from Dean and tosses it to the side "No. Just you."

"Are you sure?" Dean inquired, brushing a few stray bangs away from Cas' face. "I mean, _I_ know I'm clean, but _you_ don't."

"So am I." Cas stroked Dean's cheek "And I trust you. I want this."

 _I trust you_ was still lingering loud as anything in Dean's ears. From his memory standpoint, Cas has only known Dean personally for a little over 24 hours, yet he trusts him wholeheartedly. He's broken from his thoughts when Cas kisses the tip of his nose. "Okay." Dean caresses Cas' face and kisses his eyelid "On your back." Cas does as he's told and Dean pours a generous amount of lube on his fingers. He runs a soothing hand up and down Castiel's leg, whispering "Just relax, okay?" and slowly, carefully pushes the first finger in. The flushed ring of muscle tightens around Dean's fingers and it feels like every bone in Cas' body locks. Dean leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his neck, whispering soft murmers of "I got you". Cas' muscles unclench as he adds a second "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" Cas gasps and writhes underneath Dean, pleasure overthrowing the pain "Another." Dean complies, sliding in a third finger in and moving his hand back and forth. Cas began to relax again after the intrusion and Dean kissed his knee "You ready?"

"Dean, please." Cas usually wasn't the type to beg, but he also wasn't one to ask twice. Dean pulled away from the stretched muscle, pouring almost half the bottle of lube on his dick. Pushing the head inside was enough to have them both gasping. Dean inched his way deeper into Castiel, Cas arching his back off the bed when he was competely full. Cas is shaking underneathe him and Dean almost panics. But Cas' pupils are blown wide and wild. It's not fear or pain; it's _lust, want,_

"I need you." 

Dean doesn't even know why he said it. He just knows it felt right. And, damnit, he meant it. What the hell was his life before now? What the hell was he doing? Cas' hand, warm and steady, found its way to Dean's cheek, his thumb caressing a group of freckles there. Dean took Cas' hand in his and laced there fingers together. He couldn't cure Cas; not really, but he could give him everything he had and hope it was enough. He began to slowly rock back and forth, sweat beading all over his body and all over Cas', making his hair stick to his forehead. And every thrust was fucking _marvelous_. Dean is a careful and tender lover, come to find out. Cas also realizes then that this is a side to Dean Winchester people rarely if ever see. The gentle, benevolent, unsure Dean Winchester. Whose hands hold and caress as he worships your body in every way he knows how. Castiel wraps his legs around Dean's waist and ground down onto him, allowing Dean to hit that spot that felt so damn good. 

_"Dean."_

Once, twice, three times, then more. Every thrust sent them higher and higher, pulling them closer to their nirvana. Cas tugs Dean down for one more ragged, breathless kiss before he's brought over the edge and releases all over his chest. Dean's not too far behind him, watching Cas come undone like that. Undone because of _him_. Dean takes more than a little pride at that. He rode out his orgasm while Cas relaxed underneath him, with a single moan of his name and fireworks explode behind his closed eyelids.

They're both panting and covered with sweat and come, but neither are willing to move. Dean's cock softens inside Castiel, his doing the same, and Dean pulls out, planting soft kisses all over Cas' face. He wipes them both down with his shirt and coaxes Cas under the covers. Dean kisses the top of his head as they slot so easily together. Cas hums contently into Dean's chest and mumbled a soft "I love you."

"Don't fall asleep." Dean reminded. If he fell asleep, he wouldn't remember Dean the next morning. He totally forgot about that. 

"I'm not sleeping." Cas uttered "I'm just resting." 

Dean smiled into his hair and rubbed soft circles into the small of Cas' back. 

"I love you, too."

_Don't forget me._


	13. Chapter 13

Dean lightly groaned awake the next morning on his side, Castiel's arms tucked snugly around his waist and his bare chest flushed against his back. And, yeah, Dean liked being little spoon. And if anyone had something to say about it, the could stick it where the sun don't shine. He was happy and warm underneath the sheets. Dean lethargically rolled over to plant a lazy kiss to Cas' forehead "Morning."

Cas' long dark eyelashes slowly unveiled his eyes, like sapphires, knocking the breath out of Dean.

But then, so did the punch that came a few seconds later.

Dean fell out of bed with a loud and painful thud, cursing under his breath as Cas grabbed the sheets to cover himself and shouted "Who the hell are you?! Where am I?!"

Dean quickly slipped on his boxers and held up his hands in surrender "Whoa whoa whoa, Cas, just listen, okay? I know this is hard to understand, but we're actually seeing each other. We have been for a while now."

Cas looked confused, pissed, _frightened_.

"Cas! Cas, if I was lying, how would I know this?" Dean inched closer to him, his hands still up "You're an art teacher, and you go to your sister's cafe every Sunday, and you like honey bees and--"

"You stalker!"

"No no no! Don't you remember me just a little?"

Dean remembered a _whack_ of Cas' fist meeting his jaw and a powerful kick to the chest and then lights out. Apparently, Dean's neighbor, Charlie, was concerned with all the noise and busted down his door to find a battered Dean unconscious on the floor. 

Cas was still a little shook up when he got home, tie backwards and loose, suit jacket and overcoat in the backseat. His car was parked outside of Dean's apartment when he left, so obviously he went there on his own accord, but he was still spooked on the whole not-remembering thing.

Anna came out of Cas' bedroom with a sigh of relief "He's still a little thunderstruck, but he'll be okay. He's watching the tape right now." Gabriel pressed an ice pack to the side of Dean's face "Can't believe little Cassie did all this. Man, he kicked your ass." A split lip, a black eye and a busted cheek; Dean internally reminds himself never to piss Cas off.

Michael's audible footsteps emerged from the kitchen "Guess you won't miss days like these when you go on your trip after all." Dean was surprised how long he could hold that cold brown stare before pulling the ice pack off his face and standing "Actually, I've decided not to go."

That definitely caught Michael by surprise. Anna and Gabriel, too. Balthazar looked more confused than anything. Michael was the only one who noticed the creak of an eavesdropping Castiel at the top of the stairs.

"Cas needs me here. I'm just worried about going away for hell knows how long and ruining all the progress he's made." Dean smiled at his feet "Call me crazy, but I think deep down he's starting to remember who I am."

Gabriel and Balthazar sighed heavily and Michael stepped closer into the living room "No, Dean. That's what you _want_ to believe. You could go to the moon and back and Castiel wouldn't even know you were gone. Some random mechanic can't just walk in and fix what doctors couldn't."

"Trust me, we all want to believe it, Dean." Anna's soft sad voice echoed next him and he felt her gentle hand on his shoulder "But there's no chance for Cas to have a normal life anymore. We'll just have to do what we can."

Dean kept his challenging glare on Michael. God, this guy pissed him off. What the fuck was his problem? He shook off Anna's hand and walked out "I'll be back to talk to Cas later." and slammed the door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

"Who the hell is he to--he doesn't know a damn thing. We've got a chance to make this work, right?" Dean rolled out from underneath the Silverado he was working on. Benny just whined and gave one of those little I-don't-really-give-a-shit-about-your-problems-I-just-want-you-to-play-with-me puppy groans.

"Dean?"

"Hey!" Dean stood to greet Castiel, wiping grease and oil off his hands with an old rag.

"I'm really sorry about this morning." Cas looked down shamefully and twisted his mouth

"It's not big deal; don't worry about it. Remind me to never piss you off later." Dean couldn't wipe that stupid grin off his face even if he wanted to "So what're you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." He held up a brown leather book about the size of a notepad that he had in his coat "This is my journal. I write in it every night."

"You don't like the video?"

"No!" Cas defended "I love it! I do. It's just...sometimes when I watch it, I feel as if I'm being told about my life from someone else, but when I read this...it's as if I'm telling myself."

"When did you start this up?"

"Right after you gave me the video." Dean couldn't shake that there was something he wasn't telling him. Why Cas had such sadness painted on his face. "I was so nervous to come here."

"Why?" Dean huffed an laugh and leaned up against the truck, sweat making his black t-shirt stick to his skin "I don't exactly live up to the hype, huh?"

"No. I was nervous because..." Dean's head perked up. Cas looked like he was going to be sick "because I came here to break up with you."

Dean could've been struck head on with another sixteen-wheeler and it wouldn't hurt this much. He wanted to bad to say something, have Cas say that's not what he meant, that everything would be okay. But he couldn't.

"You had a life and plans before you met me and now all you have time for is to help me pick up my...mess of a life and get me to fall in love with you every day."

"That's not all i have time for!" Dean finally argued "I fixed up three cars; I gave a dog a bath today." Dean closed his eyes in irritation at the sound of Benny getting into the trash can again "...Which I'll have to do again tomorrow."

"Dean..." Cas' big blue eyes were glossy and pleading "I look at my family's lives and I won't do that to you." Cas tried to hide the sniffle under his breath.

"What do you want me to do? Be some chapter in your stupid scrapbook and go on with my life?" Yeah, that came out harsh, but fuck, why was this happening?

"No...my plan is to erase you completely as if you never existed."

Castiel's voice was cold and broken.

Dean ran a calloused hand over his face in frustrated anger and dejection, turning his back on him "Why are you doing this?"

Cas stepped closer, raising his voice to get Dean to turn around and fucking _look at him_ "You have to understand that there is no future with me! Don't you want to have a normal relationship? A marriage?"

"I've been in the best fucking relationship of my life the past few months! Marriage? Hell yeah I'd do it!"

Dean hoped he saw a flicker of joy on Castiel's face. Just a glimpse. "But how is that going to work? I wake up every morning to a man in bed with me and I have no idea who he is?" That's right, because we already got a peek of what that was like this morning. "I have to make a journal that doesn't have you in it. But before I do...I really want you to read what I wrote about you."

"I will read it." Dean promised "Tomorrow. When you forget about all of this breaking up stuff."

"I'm not going to forget. I won't let myself." Before Dean could see if there were tears pooling in Castiel's eyes, he stuffed the journal back in his pocket "I'll be at my house." and left without another word.

Dean punched the car window when Cas was completely gone, cracking the glass and maybe a few bones in his fingers, and sunk to the dirt. His face buried in his hand and if anyone wanted to point out the wetness running down his face, then fuck 'em. Benny approached slowly and layed next to him with his head in Dean's lap.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean stayed at the salvage yard late into the night. He would walk around aimlessly, a whiskey bottle in hand and Benny always at his heel. Bobby left before Cas even got there, so the little mix pup was really the only one Dean could talk to. Even if that wasn't the case, Dean didn't feel like spilling his shit into someone else's lap. He didn't want to call Sam, or his mother, or Anna, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to the Novak house.

"I don't know what to do, buddy." Dean droned, rubbing circles behind Benny's ear. Those soft, droopy blue eyes staring back at him dragged a sigh out of Dean "I probably should go, though, shouldn't I?" Dean breathed deep through his nose and set the half-empty whiskey bottle on the table, giving Benny one more pat on the head.

He sat silently parked in the Novak's driveway for a good fifteen minutes before Anna came out and forlornly beckoned him inside. "He's upstairs in his room. He told me he invited you over...and why."

"And what did you say?"

"I wanted to put up a fight but he was dead set."

She was probably telling the truth. Cas was stubborn. And Anna was probably the most supportive out of the family. She seemed to have been really rooting for them, even though it didn't always seem that way.

Dean nodded solemnly and headed up the back hallway stairs. Cas was seated on a futon in his room (first door on the right, Anna had said) with his journal at his thigh and a laptop on his knees. 

"Thank-you for coming." Cas mumbled, getting barely any response from Dean.

The futon was a little uncomfortable and creaked underneath their combined weight. Dean would read through the entries, ripping out the ones Cas told him to, _the ones about him_ , and moving on to the next while Cas typed the others. He even came across one that mentioned their first time together and how incredible it was. Dean took a little pride in that, but had to rip it out as well.

When they finally reached the leather-bound back, Cas printed his document, a printer on his desk spitting out a stack of papers entitled "Read Me". They stood in the garage over a small garbage bin where a lit match had been dropped in with the Dean pages. Some kind of emotional metaphor should be here somewhere, like burning bridges or some shit like that. Cas' shower-wet and messy hair almost fell in front of his eyes. His trenchcoat was drooped over his shoulders, his arms curled into it for warmth while the pitter-patter of rain hit the open garage door.

Dean didn't look at him. Couldn't. Took one last glance at the small fire at his feet and went to pull his jacket on.

"Dean wait!" Cas hesitated at first, but cupped Dean's face in his hands and desperately crushed their lips together. Cas always kissed with everything he had, for all he was worth. And Dean kissed him back, as much as his brain tried to fight it. His hands roamed to Cas' shoulders, eventually able to push him away, a little harshly, and trudged into the rain to his car. He felt a pang of guilt leaving Cas alone like that.

But isn't that what he wanted?


	16. Chapter 16

For whatever reason, Dean ended up listening to Cowboy Junkies on the radio the whole ride home.

Almost a month later and he's still got that damn Angel Mine song stuck in his head while he packed. He'd seen Cas a few times out and about in public since the breakup; a few of those times he thought Cas did more than glance at him when they passed by each other, but that must've been in his head. What he _wanted_ to think. Dean sunk down to his knees to rub gently at Benny's chin "You have to stay with Bobby for a while." Benny, who had almost doubled in size since he first took him in, whined in protest, knowing the tone Dean used when he was about to leave somewhere. "I'm sorry, buddy, but I can't lug you around everywhere. Especially with you getting bigger faster. Besides, I gotta get the hell outa this town."

Dean dropped his duffle bag into the back of his impala and slammed the trunk down, Anna scaring the shit out of him. Dean swears and jumps back. God, does she just magically appear everywhere? Standing with her was, of course, Gabriel and Balthazar, and... "Sam?" His little brother had that I'm-severely-pissed-at-you-but-I'm-gonna-hide-it-for-now face and Dean knew he was in for it.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Sammy had a bitchface forming "Bobby called. Said you were leaving."

"And then Sam called us." Gabriel added "We just wanted to wish you bon voyage before you shoved off."

Dean gave a small smile, he actually got pretty attached to this family, and will miss them just as much as his own. It got a little quiet before Dean brought up the elephant in the room "So how's Cas?"

Anna glanced down at her feet, kicking absently into the dirt, and folded her arms "He's uh...he's living at the institute."

"What?" Dean perked "When did this happen?"

"About three weeks ago..." Guilt and worry collided on her face "He said he didn't want to be a burden on us anymore. And none of us could talk him out of it. But, you know what? He's actually doing alright up there."

Dean smiled in spite of himself. _That's good_.

"He's teaching an art class, so he gets to paint every day." Balthazar added "They even said he's singing again." 

Gabriel cut in between them, half-tossing a thin wrapping paper'd rectangle into his hands "Here. From me to you, Boychester." He clapped Dean on the shoulder... _fondly_. "You take care of yourself, alright?"

Anna gave him a kiss on the cheek. Balthazar, the sentimental prick he is, tossed Dean a pack of Reese's before leaving with his siblings.

That left Dean with Sam "So, you weren't going to tell Mom and Dad? Or me?"

"Look--"

"No. _you_ look. I had to hear from Bobby that my big brother was ditching town without telling me? And two days before my wedding?" Sam's I-can't-believe-you tone hit him right in the gut. He hated dissapointing Sam.

"I can't stay here any longer. I feel like I'm fucking suffocating!" And no, his voice _didn't_ crack, so shut up.

Sam stared him down, hard eyes, pursed lips, shaking his head "Dean, I get it; you're in a tough spot right now. But just skipping out on everyone, whether you 'need time' or not, is pretty damn selfish."

Yeah, he felt bad. He felt fucking terrible. Which is exactly why he _couldn't_ say anything. As long as he could avoid that doe-eyed look on his brother's face. But he needed to get out. Dean regretted turning his back on Sam and slamming the Impala door behind him, leaving his little brother cursing in the dust.

On the road leading to the highway, well over the speed limit, Dean finally calmed down enough to unwrap the audio tape Gabriel handed him. Ripping off the last bits of paper and tape (Gabriel sucked at wrapping) finally revealed the title. "REO Speedwagon? How nice of him to give me a tape that would remind me of all the wonderful times I spent with his brother...What an asshole!!"


	17. Chapter 17

_Gabe is one sick bastard_ Dean thought between lyrics of Can't Fight This Feeling, which, despite himself, he couldn't help singing. And so what? No one was in the car. And he can like whatever songs he damn well pleases. He popped in the tape with the intent of listening to it all the way through, but stopped on this one song, now on repeat for the past twenty minutes. "Wait..." Dean turned the volume down and slowed to speed limit "Is he trying to tell me something?"

 _"We figured it out."_ Anna had said _"He only sings on days he meets you."_

"Holy shit...he remembers me?" That was it. That's what Dean was missing. Any time Cas had Dean on his mind, that song came with it. Dean slammed on his breaks enough to where he almost banged his head on the steering wheel and made an illegal U-turn, speeding down the opposite direction.

Dean broke about twelve traffic laws on his way to the institute, not giving a single damn if a cop saw him or not. The impala roared beneath his feet, just as happy as he was. She hadn't gone that fast in a long time. Dean barely put her into park before shooting out and through the front doors.

Two slightly scruffy (and pretty handsome, but that's besides the point), dark-haired, dark-eyed men stood behind the greeting counter, wearing all white staff uniforms. "Can we help you, sir?" the taller one asked.

"Yes, I have an appointment." Dean huffed, almost completely out of breath. 

"Can I get your name, please?"

"My name?" Fuck. Dean's brain was completely fried blank. He just stood there like an idiot, mouth agape like a fish.

The shorter man leaned in to the other and whispered "He forgot his name. I feel bad for him." Which was pretty much all Dean heard before he called out to him "Don't worry, sir; go ahead. And good luck with that memory problem!"

Whatever the hell that meant. "Yeah, thanks!" And Dean was already sprinting toward the staircase, his lungs screaming and his heart pounding. "Cas!" he shouted as loud as his exhausted throat would allow. "Cas!"

His brain hadn't exactly been fully-functional since he got there, so thank god his feet remembered exactly where to go. The second door on the left, the room with the big windows and small cafeteria tables seating fifteen or twenty people, all stitched and bandaged or sporting scars. Each had an easel, or a colored sheet of paper, and some kind of art utensil, whether they were actually using it or just holding it and going through motions was up for debate. Cas sauntered through the small crowd, overlooking and praising everyone's work individually. He looked soft and touchable in his blue sweater and khaki pants. (Clothes that no one should be able to pull off, but somehow he made it work.)

"Castiel Novak?"

Those intense blue orbs had him in their gentle grip again. Dean was seriously about to collapse right then and there. "Can I ask you a question?"

No response. Just that confused stare; his head began to tilt. That was never a negative sign, so Dean pushed forward "Do you have any idea who I am?"

All eyes in the room were on them. Two people who, in everyone else's mind, were complete strangers. Seconds felt like minutes before Cas' answer finally came.

"No."

It sounded phrased like a question. Dean completely deflated "No?" Nervous and doleful laughter trickled out of him "That sucks." He stared down at his feet, the backs of his eyes were stinging and his throat clenched.

"What's your name?" Cas asked, closing in until he was in Dean's personal space. Some things never change.

It hurt not to look at Cas, but it hurt even more once he finally did. "Dean. My name is Dean."

"Dean." Cas repeated back. It rolled off his tongue so easily. His gruff voice saying his name was something Dean was aching to hear again. "I want to show you something. Will you come with me?"

Dean hesitated at first, but nodded, following Cas to the other side of the room where a door to a back room or closet or something was. He could tell Cas was a little reluctant to leave his students alone, but pushed the door open anyway.

Flicking the lights on illuminated paintings right and left covering every inch of the room "This is my studio."

Every sketch, every painting, every picture was Dean. There were some of Dean full-body, some of him with baby, one of him with Benny in his lap. But most were his face. A lot were very close in, detailing each of his freckles, the way his eyelashes curl upwards, the crinkles of his eyes when he smiled. There was even one of just his waist down, where his legs were replaced with bows and arrows, the smartass.

"I don't know who you are, Dean," Dean could've sworn he heard Cas' voice crack. He was standing in front of the door, arms uncomfortably at his side awaiting Dean's response "but I dream about you almost every night." He closed into Dean's personal space again "Why?"

Dean straightened up, breath hitching at that glisten in Cas' eyes when they were close to one another "What if I told you that notebook you read every night...used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?"

Cas smiled. Finally smiled like he used to. And Dean's heart and gut did a happy sort of jump. "I would say that makes a lot of sense."

"You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake." Dean wanted to grin stupidly at Cas' adorable-as-fuck head tilt "Being with you is the only way I can have a full and happy life." Dean's heart clenched in his chest, the corners of his mouth quirking up without him even thinking "I need you, Cas." He gestured vaguely to the immortalized Deans surrounding them "And, apparently, you need me too."

Cas' eyes began to pool slightly with joyful tears, a soft smile decorating his face. He took Dean's hand in both of his in a firm hold, his thumb caressing gingerly at Dean's freckled skin "Dean...it's nice to meet you."

There was that stupid grin waiting to bust out. And Dean did not care one bit "It's nice to meet you, too, Cas." Castiel inched closer, cupping Dean's face in his hands for a desperate, longing kiss. And, hell, did Dean miss the shit out of this. Cas' full, slightly chapped lips on his, a fierce fire behind them. Cas' fingers curling into Dean's hair as he slipped his arms around Cas' waist, nearly lifting his feet off the ground.

And Dean could practically hear the cheers and woops of Sammy and the Novaks already.


	18. Epilogue

The church was set. 

White Casablanca lilies decorated the church altar and purple irises graced the windows.

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his tuxedo, but winked at a beaming excited, anxious Sammy standing across from him, wearing a matching tux and a white rose pinned to his chest. The organ began to play, announcing the arrival of the bride. 

Jess, beautiful as ever, her golden curly hair bunned up high with a single curl blanketing her cheek and a flowing white dress waving behind her approached the altar accompanied by her father, who gave her away with a kiss to her cheek.

Sam took both of her hands in his, his eyes starting to get a little misty, as the pastor began with "Dearly beloved..."

This was the happiest Dean had ever seen Sam in his entire life and almost kicked himself knowing that he almost missed it. The pastor gave this long speech about how love is universal, that each couple is unique and that love could be found anywhere, but sometimes you had to let it find you. A cheesy smirk splayed across Dean's lips as he looked down at his joined hands. He snuck a quick glance in Cas' direction. He was wearing a tux almost identical to Dean's (aside feom wearing a blue bowtie instead of black) in the front pew with the rest of his family. His parents, Bobby, his Aunt Ellen and cousin Jo. Cas smiled, tilting his head ever-so-slightly to direct Dean's attention to the alter before the pastor said "May I have the rings?"

Dean handed the velvet red box to Sam and gave a quick clasp on his shoulder with a huge grin before Sam turned back to Jess for the ring exchange. A few more lines before "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride." And Sammy's eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. Jessica jumped into his arms, cupping his face for a kiss while Sam lifted her off her feet. The crowed clapped and cheered, Dean giving a small fist-pump into the air. The two adorable newlyweds were hand-in-hand down the isle before Dean could wrap Sam in his arms. 

This was it. Sam had a new life now; a new job, a wife and maybe soon, a few kids. Dean knew this wasn't the last he was going to see of his brother (they would still keep very close in touch), but he couldn't help but feel his stomach drop as the image of a baby Sammy smiling at him from a crib began to fade into the back of his mind. Cas' fingers intertwined with his and led him down the alter stairs "It'll be alright." Cas mumbled before giving a quick kiss to the best man.

Everyone began to move out of the church for the reception behind the bride and groom, aside from the strong hand on his shoulder. John gently turned Dean to face him "A word?" Dean gave Cas' hand a gentle squeez before nodding and following his father to the other side of the church. John actually looked...uneasy? Maybe that wasn't the word. He had something on his mind.

"What is it?" Dean questioned a little harshly, burns still leftover from their last encounter. John let out a rugged sigh and glanced over toward Castiel then back at Dean, Dean following his line of sight all the while. "You know I always wanted what was best for you, right?" John finally spoke

"Of course I do." Dean's frown lines melted away. He did always know his dad loved him. Sure, he screwed up sometimes and they all had their share of family feuds, but what family hasn't? He didn't expect John to be perfect.

"I hate myself for not being there for you lately. Or ever. I know that now. I just thought this quest you were on was a little nuts."

"It's crazy." Dean smirked. "But it's worth it."

John noticed Cas staring at them with a mixture of concern and curiosity on his face. "He's a nice kid." he smiled. "And... he makes you happy?"

Dean didn't say anything. He didn't need to. Just the way his eyes simpered tenderly at Castiel, who gave a small wave, was more than words could express. John's mouth curved upward in response "Then, the very very least I can do is support you. After all you've given up for me. And you've never let me down."

 _That's all I've ever wanted to hear._ "Thanks, Dad."

John gave had a reassuring grip on Dean's shoulder, but, fuck that, Dean grabbed him and pulled him in for a tight embrace which John quickly returned, whispering "How'd you ever turn out so good?". One more clap to the shoulder and he left his son and went to join his wife down the isle to the large oak doors. Castiel met John about halfway. Dean didn't hear much, but he saw John smile and reach out a hand to Castiel, who happily returned the gesture. He read a "welcome" on his father's lips before he took Mary's hand and departed. Cas was swiftly back at his side "Dean?" an expression that showed he knew everything was going to be okay.

Even Cas' bowtie was crooked. Dean began to adjust it while the corner of Cas' mouth gently quirked. Dean's thumb caressed at his jawline after fastening the top button of Castiel's shirt. He draws back slowly, taking Cas' hand in his to follow where the small crowd went. He stopped at the doorway, looking back "I honestly wouldn't mind doing it."

Cas followed his line of sight to the alter, where Sam and Jess stood only a few moments ago "Really?"

Dean responded with a light kiss to Castiel's forehead. He wouldn't mind at all. He gets it now. Loving someone so hopelessly; _painfully_ , that you just want them every moment of every day. Not that he needs a damn piece of paper to keep Cas, but it was about the gesture. And he was willing to make any one he could.

"I love you."


End file.
